Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
