He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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