I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
