They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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