We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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