I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
