you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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