so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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