Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
