the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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