bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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