24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
