shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
