Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
