I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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