after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize