I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
