Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Randomize
