I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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