Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
