Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize