i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
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