my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
