just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
