I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
