is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize
