I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I have aggressive nipples.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
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