I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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