glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
