so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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