Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
