Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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