I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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