She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
