It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
