I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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