I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
