what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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