Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Sext me about skeletons
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Randomize
