her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
