I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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