Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
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i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
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How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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