Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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