ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
