he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
