i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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