I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
