I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
