I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
3 2 1 whiskey
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
