just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
