How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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