I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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