3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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