People with herpes should wear stickers.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
