Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Randomize
