I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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