he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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