She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
