I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
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I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
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I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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