So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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