Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
