I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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