try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
