It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
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