honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
