if you like me you must not know who I am
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
