Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
