I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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