I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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