You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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